


April ...Fish?

by sadeyebrow



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, April Fools' Day, Gen, naraku is a mean bean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 13:45:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6426244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadeyebrow/pseuds/sadeyebrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naraku has too much time on his hands. He decides to make April 1st a little more exciting this year.</p>
            </blockquote>





	April ...Fish?

**Author's Note:**

> Poisson d'avril: (french) Pranks played on people on April 1st. To give an "April's fish" is to play jokes on someone, usually at their expense.

Naraku sighed as he sipped his fourth cup of coffee. He was bored. Dreadfully, horribly bored. For once in his life, he wished the weekend was shorter. Normal people had hobbies and respectable things to do on weekends, but not Naraku. His only real hobby was making other people's lives miserable, or flirting with Sesshoumaru, which was essentially the same thing. Unfortunately neither of those options were available to him right now.

He wrapped his blanket around himself tighter and grumbled. He wished there was a way to irritate people over long distances that wasn't just leaving prank calls. He wanted to do something that would really make life difficult for people. Lazily, he picked up his phone and browsed through all his monotonous social media apps, making faces at the boring posts. He almost threw his phone against the wall for something to do, when he saw the date. His expression changed entirely, a glimmer appearing in his eye. Perhaps he wouldn't be causing trouble today, but he could plan all sorts of mischief in the week to come.

If he weren't so lazy, he would make an excellent trickster god

Sango yawned as she pulled up a chair in the cafeteria. She should have listened to Kagome and not taken the 8:30am classes, but the semester was nearly over and it was too late to complain about it now. Sango was just glad she was one of the first people in the dining hall in the mornings, so she had first pick over the best foods. This morning, she was especially lucky. Someone had left a large box of donuts on the counter, with a post-it note saying “help yourself! :)”

Sango couldn’t help but think this was an auspicious start to her day. She picked a donut and carried her food back to her table. After she finished her tea, she bit into the donut, expecting pure, boston-creamy-goodness, but instead getting a mouthful of mayonnaise. Sango gagged and spat the traitorous donut back out. She reached for her tea, wanting to get the taste of mayonnaise out of her mouth as quickly as she could, before realizing she was out of tea. She braced herself before swallowing a revolting amount of pure mayonnaise, shuddering as it went down. Well, that had officially ruined her morning.

-

Inuyasha woke to the sound of his alarm blaring, and Kagome standing over him.

“Mmmf, don’t tell me. I’m late?” He asked as he rolled over in bed

“Yes! I told you this would happen! See, this is why you shouldn’t have stayed out so late. You sleep in and miss your classes and then your schoolwork suffers!”

Inuyasha tuned her out as he got out of bed and threw on a mostly-clean shirt. It would have to do; he didn’t have time to walk over to the side of the room and rifle through the dresser. 

He made his way downstairs, tripping up a little as he tried to do up his pants. Inuyasha reached the front door to their apartment and paused.

“Kagome?” He called

“Yeah?” She yelled back from upstairs

“Where the fuck are my shoes?”

Kagome came into the room, looking puzzled. “What do you mean?” She asked.

Inuyasha pointed to the shoe rack accusingly. It only held half the usual amount of shoes. All the left ones were missing.

“Is this your idea of an April fools joke? Now I’m definitely gonna be late to class!”

“Hey don’t look at me, I didn’t do it!” Kagome insisted. She knelt down and looked at the shoes, frowning. “Who…?” Only a few people had the keys to their apartment, and she doubted Sango or Miroku would do something like this. 

A piece of paper stuck out from under a shoe. Kagome picked it up and looked it over. “don’t get cold feet” A smiley face was drawn under it.

“What does this mean, I wonder?” She asked.

“Who cares!” Inuyasha exclaimed. “Where the fuck are my shoes?”

Acting on a suspicion, Kagome went over to the fridge. Opening the freezer compartment, she found every missing left shoe, shoved haphazardly next to the ice cream and frozen peas.  
“Keh! Forget it, I’ll just go barefoot!” Shouted Inuyasha as he walked out the door.

-

Carrying his lunch tray, Sesshoumaru made his way over to Naraku in the cafeteria line up.

“You look like you’re in good spirits. Who died?”

Naraku smirked at him. “Oh, no one. At least, no one I know of. Yet.”

“Hmm.” Sesshoumaru wasn’t convinced. Naraku was never in this good a mood. Sesshoumaru could only guess that he was plotting something. And if he did have some annoying plan, he sure as hell wouldn’t tell Sesshoumaru about it. How irritating.  
“Well if you’re going to keep grinning like that, at least make yourself useful.” Sesshoumaru said, handing him his lunch tray. It was a pain to keep it balanced on one hand like that all the time.

“What, no prosthetic today? Need a hand?” Naraku teased.

Sesshoumaru could only roll his eyes at him and resist the urge to give him a light cuff on the head. He reached out to the bottle of hand sanitizer and squirted some on his hand. Only, too much came out. And it wasn’t the usual hand sanitizer consistency. It felt a lot more like… lube? 

Sesshoumaru turned to Naraku slowly, giving him an accusing stare. Naraku simply shrugged his shoulders and gave him as innocent a look as he could manage, before leaning in and whispering “I see you’re ready for tonight” softly in Sesshoumaru’s ear.

Sesshoumaru could feel himself blush but didn’t stop scowling at Naraku. It was only when the other man wiped the offensive liquid off his hand did he forgive him. Sesshoumaru slipped his hand into his pocket. Grudgingly, he let Naraku kiss his cheek.  
“April fools, you asshole” Sesshoumaru whispered as he pressed the electric buzzer into Naraku’s hand, making him jump.

-

Miroku was having a good day so far. He’d got the number of that cute new barista, and he’d gotten out of class early. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Miroku had to use the toilet. He ducked into the dorm’s bathroom to relieve himself.

After he washed his hands he realized he left an unpleasant odor behind him. He grabbed the can of air freshener and sprayed it into the bathroom stall. The febreeze seemed different today. He frowned, then sprayed it again. It definitely didn’t smell the way it usually did. Miroku sprayed some on his hand, just to make sure, then grimaced. It had the unmistakable smell of cooking spray, and he had just been spraying it all over the toilet.

Miroku washed his hands as quickly as he could and hurried out of the bathroom before someone could come in and accuse him of pranking everyone.

-

It was late in the day before everyone could meet up. Naraku lurked in the corner of the dining hall as he watched his victims complain about their misfortunes.

Kagome was the first one to arrive, followed by Miroku, then Inuyasha. Sango would be along in a few minutes, he was sure.

“...And so, not only was Inuyasha late for class, but he had to go barefoot too! Can you imagine the funny looks he must have gotten?”

“My, that does sound unfortunate. It seems we’ve all had our share of pranks played on us today.” Miroku went on to tell of his adventure in the bathroom. Kagome was sympathetic while Inuyasha just laughed and said “Whoever thought of that one was a genius!”

Inuyasha got up, telling the other two that he was going to grab some dinner. Miroku and Kagome kept chatting until he got back with a large plate of food. It was at that moment that Sango entered the dining hall. Her friends waved her over.

“Hey guys, check it out, there’s some free donuts over by the coffee machine!” Inuyasha said as he picked up an aforementioned donut.

An instant too late, Sango realized what was going on. “I wouldn’t -”

But Inuyasha had already taken a large bite. He chewed for a second then spat it out, disgusted.

“Aaaah!! Hot! Hot!” He shouted as he reached for his drink. He was making retching noises and clawing at his throat. From off in the corner, Naraku cackled at him quietly.

After Inuyasha had finally calmed down, Sango took her bag off and pulled up a chair, only to have it make a loud farting sound as she sat down. She pulled the whoopee cushion out from under her, sighed and laid her head down on the table. The whole group was fed up with April Fools jokes.

Naraku grinned wickedly. This was definitely one for the history books. He remembered what he’d thought earlier, about him being a poor trickster and reconsidered.  
On second thought, it looked like he was an excellent trickster god already.

**Author's Note:**

> lmao i wrote this all last night and this morning. im dying from lack of sleep happy april 1st. i hope u appreciated the french lesson  
> went thru half a dozen websites until i found pranks that were Evil enough 4 naraku
> 
> non exhaustive list of other shit he did that i didn't have time 2 write about:  
> -put a lot of platic wrap around something important  
> -air horn under the office chair  
> -shift all the keys on the keyboard over One Spot  
> -leave tiny mice and snakes all over grocery store  
> -tape nic cage's face in the window, make it look like nic cage is watching u


End file.
